BREAKING POINT

Long after Jeremy had gone to the office, Penny remembered those words. They cast a shadow over her happiness. His attitude towards age worried her. She could never be satisfied to accept a statement without proving into it. And Jeremy’s emotions were already part of her life. She was wise enough to know that a man who wants to stay young forever is usually one who avoids ties, responsibilities and the thought of settling down.

Then she remembered that Jeremy had asked her to marry him, at least to become engaged, and the shadow lifted. Only the disturbing impression remained.

—————–

Penny was too busy during the morning to think of anything but domestic problems. As soon as the flat was clean she joined the queues and by lunch time had completed the shopping. In spite of her early breakfast, she did not feel hungry. She was satisfied with bread and cheese and a cup of coffee.

That afternoon she worked on the new Childers book she was illustrating. It was a delightful little story and she managed to draw great pleasure from her interpretations of the author’s theme. After a while she decided to take a break. She curled up on the sofa and gathered herself up to the pleasure of her meditation.

Penny was certain that Uncle Charles would like Jeremy. As a young man Uncle Charles had been passionately fond of golf and shooting. Jeremy’s main hobbies. With a little smile she anticipated their conversation… Centering round gun dogs or golf clubs. She was not quite so certain that Aunt Ann would approve. Aunt Ann was a strange woman, full of wisdom and yet full of the most old fashioned clichés. Penny could almost see her regarding Jeremy through her spectacles, noticing his above the average looks and hear her saying :

“All the goods are not in the shop window, Penny”Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

“All is not gold that glitters” etc. etc.

‘Dear Aunt Ann’ Penny thought. ‘I owe so much to her. I hope she likes Jeremy. I couldn’t bear anything to spoil our happiness’

Ann had been reasonable enough about Howard. But then Howard had been the sort of boy one trusted on sight. His big, affectionate brown eyes were the epitome of honesty, and his smile, together with his freckled nose, would have disarmed the greatest cynic. Besides, they had known him so long. Jeremy was a complete stranger…

Her phone rang and Penny did not hesitate to answer it. She felt certain it was Jeremy, but when she checked the phone, she saw that it was Audrey. Dear friendly impersonal Audrey. She wanted to know if she could stay with her at her flat on Monday night.

For a moment, Penny hesitated. She had not discussed with Jeremy the possibility that he might be moving in to share the flat with her permanently.. Nor had she any idea of his plans for the following week. She didn’t know if it would be possible for Jeremy and Audrey to stay at the flat together.

“Of course you can come, Audrey” she said. “I would love to have you. It seems ages since you were up here last”

“Yeah blame that on work” Audrey said. “I need to do some shopping on Tuesday too. How are you?”.

“I’m fine” Penny replied. “Having a wonderful time, Audrey. I have just become engaged to the most marvelous man on earth”.. There was a seconds pause, or had Penny imagined it. Then Audrey said:

“Congratulations, Penny. I’m very happy for you darling”

“I will ask him to dinner on Monday so you can meet him” Penny added.

Replacing the receiver, Penny felt a warm glow of happiness steal over her. Audrey and Jeremy.. The two people she loved most in the world. It would be lovely to have them here together, to listen to Audrey discussing her beloved music with that special, happy, satisfied tone that she never used for anything else, hearing Jeremy say :

“I like your friend. Clever, isn’t she?”

Yes, Audrey was clever, but she was many other things too. She was one of those steadfast women in whom anyone would place trust and confidence and he sure that they would receive sympathy and sound advice. Audrey was clever and practical and a wonderful friend. She would be loyal to the end of her life and give everything to others to the exclusion of her own desires.

That selflessness of Audrey’s had been the magnet that had first attracted Penny. One met so many different types of girls varying in their ages and their ways of life as much as in their characters. The all seemed a curious mixture of egotism and unselfishness, and Penny felt so happy to have someone like Audrey as a friend.

Audrey rarely spoke of herself. She was usually the listener, the lender, the girl who offered to do someone else’s duty so that they could go to a party. She might have been called a ‘goody goody’ at school, but she was never that.

It had seemed more than unjust of fate when Alex, Audrey’s ex had broken her heart. But Audrey had taken it so calmly that if you didn’t know her well, you would think her shallow and unfeeling. But it had hit her hard.

“I will never love anyone else, Penny” she had told her friend at the time.

The last time Audrey had come to visit, Penny had said. “Why don’t you come to live here with me for a little while, Audrey? It’s time you attended a few parties”

“Really, Penny. I don’t want that” Audrey had said. “My chief interest now is my music.”

“You can’t live alone all your life” Penny had protested.

“But I don’t intend to” Audrey replied calmly. “My brother Joey… Will be home soon”..

“Tell me about Joey” Penny insisted.

“Oh, he’s very like me really” Audrey mused. “We both enjoy the same things and we get along fine. We don’t talk to each other much but then we understand each other so well that there is no need.”

Still not altogether happy about her friend, Penny had asked bluntly :

“Are you happy, Audrey?”

“As happy as I can be” Audrey replied.

Penny knew then that there was nothing more she could do or say. Audrey was one of those people who could love only once in a lifetime.

Penny wondered now, while waiting for Jeremy to come back from the office, whether she were being mentally unfaithful to her poor lost Howard.