CHAPTER 78
Chapter 78
MIRABELLA
It’s been two weeks since I returned from the hospital. Two weeks since I almost lost my child.
Of course I decided to keep the baby. I am afraid, I constantly live in fear of what this pregnancy might do to me, and after that near miscarriage, my fear has toppled, yet, I find myself wanting to do this. To have this child with the love of my life.
It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make, not just for myself, but for this family. For my husband.
Matteo deserves a chance to experience this journey with me.
As I lie on the couch, enveloped in a soft blanket of warmth and comfort, I feel the fragile threads of my being slowly weaving back together after days of constantly being in pain.
My husband, Matteo, has put in the work to make me feel better. He is just like a gentle breeze, soothing my soul, the calming melody that quiets the fears I have regarding this pregnancy.
He is my safe haven–a place where I can be myself and express my joy, sorrow, and fear without feeling judged
or
guilty.
He’s my anchor. Like the sunshine dispelling shadows of doubt and uncertainty, and the rain that nourishes my soul, with every tender touch and every whispered promise, the love which I feel towards him seems to grow stronger.
And he loves me too–so fucking much. His love isn’t just words, but actions. He has gone above and beyond to prove to me that this union is his utmost priority.
And I appreciate that so much.
As he brings me a warm blanket and a cup of tea, I feel a surge of love and gratitude towards him. He’s always been caring and supportive, but now he’s going above and beyond to make sure I’m okay.
“Thank you, Matteo,” I say, my voice weak.
“You don’t have to thank me, baby,” he replies, sitting down beside me and stroking my hair. “I’m just taking care of my girls.”
I smile, feeling a sense of peace wash over me. My girls–that’s what he’s started calling me and our baby. It’s a sweet gesture, and it makes me feel loved and cherished.
As he continues to pamper me, I realize that this is what I need right now. I need to feel safe and loved, and Matteo is providing that for me. He’s being my rock, my shelter in the storm.
“Matteo?” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes, baby?” he replies, his eyes locked on mine.
Thank you for taking care of me,” I say, my eyes filling with tears. “Thank you for being here for me.”
He smiles, his eyes softening. “I’ll always be here for you, baby,” he says. “You and our little magic growing inside you and our very infuriating kids are my everything.”
I feel a surge of love and gratitude towards him, and I know that I’m lucky to have him in my life.
I breathe out a sigh. “Would you like to talk to me about what’s on your mind?” I ask, reaching for his hand. “I know you’ve been trying to play it cool and not push for answers or express your confusion, but I think it’s best we talked about it now.”
He leans in, placing a soft kiss on my lips, a small smile tugging the corners of his lips. “I do want to speak about it, but I feel like I’m going to fuck it up at the end of the day because I don’t have my way with words.”
“You do have your way with words, darling,” I chuckle, kissing his cheek. “How do you think you got me to fall in love with you?”
“Oh,” he scrunches his nose, his tone of voice playful. “And I thought I did all that with my c
cock.”
I smack the back of his shoulder and snort a laugh. “Shut up.”
Matteo hums deeply as he carries me onto his laps, his arms wrapped around me protectively and his head resting on my shoulder–the shoulder he wouldn’t stop kissing. “I love you, Mirabella, you know that, yes?”
I nod, “I do.”
“And I love that you have decided to keep this pregnancy.” A staggered breath escapes him. “But after watching you bleed out like that, after seeing your pale skin, after watching your unconscious body, I feel…I don’t…” His words catch in his throat, a whooshed breeze escaping his parted
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mouth, a wet sensation meeting my skin.
He’s crying. And I don’t attempt to interrupt him. I want him to fully process his thoughts by himself even though it seems a difficult task.
“That video of you while you were pregnant with Mariana and Mariano,” he says, his words murmured. “It replays in my head every second of the day…and I do not wish for you to suffer like that anymore because of me.”
“But it’s not because of you, Matteo.” I comment, hoping to assure him.
He shakes his head. “But it is.”
“Matteo,” I whisper.
“Mirabella,” he retorts. “Do you hear me when I tell you that I love you? Do you understand the extent of which I do?”
I uncurl his arms from around him and turn around to face him, my hands cradling his face. “I do know that you love me, and I do understand the extent of which you do.”
He inhales a long breath, his head falling low as he exhales a shaky one. “I want you to get rid of the baby.” His declaration is sudden, causing my eyes to widen.
“How can you say that to me?” The tears at the brim of my eyes cascades down my face.
“How can I not?” He drawls. “You’re afraid and so am I. You’re still early and look what this baby has put you through already. You were fucking bleeding.”
“I understand how you feel.”
He shakes his head with a tsk. “No, you don’t. I want us to experience something this magical together, but I do not want to lose you because of this. I haven’t closed my eyes a wink in weeks because I’m constantly afraid that I might wake up and you’d be stiff and cold. Do you know what that does to me?”
“Matteo,” I say, my voice shaking with emotion. “I love you, I love you so fucking much. You have to understand that this is a part of you growing inside me, and I’ve grown to love it as much as I do you. All I think about with this pregnancy is my desperate desire to walk this milestone with you, so I need you to speak positively about this. This case will be different, and I need you to believe it. Okay?” Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.
He doesn’t speak. As he attempts to look away from me, I grip his chin tighter, forcing him to face me, my head bobbing at him reassuringly.
He shakes his head, “Mirabella…”
“Matteo, do you trust me?” I ask and his head shakes in a nod, his lips placing soft kisses on my palm. “Then you have to trust me when I tell you that we’ve got this, Okay?”
“Okay,” he nods. “But if shit starts going down, I’m choosing you over it.”
“I know.” I scoff.
We talk for hours, pouring out our hearts, sharing our fears, our doubts, our insecurities. We talk about the lack of communication, the lack of trust. We talk about the things we’ve been avoiding, the things we’ve been hiding from each other.
It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. We need to confront the difficulties head–on, to face the challenges that have been tearing us apart.
As we talk, I realize that our marriage isn’t perfect. It’s not a fairy tale, it’s not a romance novel. It’s real, it’s messy, it’s complicated. But it’s worth fighting for.
“I love you,” I say, my voice shaking with emotion.
“I love you too,” he replies, his voice barely above a whisper.
We hug each other tight, holding on for dear life. We know that our marriage isn’t easy, but we also know that it’s worth it. We’re worth it.
As we pull back, I look into his eyes and see the spark that brought us together in the first place. It’s still there. So strong, so glaring.
“We can get through this,” I say, my voice filled with determination.
“We can,” he replies, his voice filled with hope.
And in this moment, I know that we will. We’ll face the difficulties, we’ll overcome the challenges, and we’ll emerge stronger, closer, and more in love than ever before.
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