Goodbyes
ROBERT
The sun was setting already when we left the sea dock.
We’d got into my car minutes after leaving the sea harbor, and the second we climbed in, silence befell us.
Before the driver started the Jeep’s ignition, I considered leaving her alone and bidding her goodbye from then on, but I couldn’t.
I still wasn’t ready to let her go and alsoI knew deep within me that it would only be gentlemanly of me to follow her home and drop her safely at the motel.
Fuck being gentlemanly. I didn’t want to let Renee go. I’d never felt this way with anyone before, and the fact that Renee was the first woman to bring out these emotions baffled me all the more.
Somewhere within me, I wondered if Renee was my soulmate, my better half, the woman I was destined to be with for life. Why hadn’t I met her all these years if she was the one then?
‘She’s years younger than you, silly. When would you have met her if not now?’ My subconscious chimed in, dropping the obvious rhetorical questions, and I hissed silently.
A cool soothing breeze blew into the vehicle, intensifying the chilly atmosphere brewing between us. All the while, I kept sneaking glances at Renee, thinking and hoping she’d look at me. But she didn’t… Not once.
She sat stiffly even when I leaned over to take something from her side of the car seat. I’d even increased my subtle hints, brushing my arm against hers-not accidentally, of course-expecting her to say something. Still, I was disappointed because she didn’t make a single move.
She just sat, staring blankly out the window and paying no heed to me.
Her face was straight, gazing out the window with her gorgeous as fuck strawberry blonde hair billowing freely. Renee refused to say a word to me or initiate conversation.
This distance… It was like hell for me, and I wasn’t sure I could bear it. The silence between us was so thick I could almost feel it pressing on my skin, making the space between our seats even more uncomfortable.
It didn’t help that she seemed to move a bit, and the fragile part of me hoped she was ready to face me and say something. My ego was bruised when she took out her cell phone from her bag and then glued her eyes to it.
“Fuck Renee…” I mumbled incoherently and inaudibly, making sure she didn’t hear me.
My hands were splayed on my thighs, and my fists clenched as I summoned all the courage I had to say something to her.
Even in the stiffest board meetings and most tense situations, I always dared to say something, but here I was, seated across a woman who’d overwhelmed my life in the short time we’d spent together, and yet I couldn’t say a thing.Content © NôvelDrama.Org 2024.
I dragged my gaze away from her, staring ahead, trying to see if I could focus on anything else, but it was impossible.
She filled my head, every inch of her. Even when I’d been cold to her in actions and words, I regretted it, but she had no idea. She just didn’t.
After a few more moments, I couldn’t take it anymore and turned toward her, ready to say something.
Sooner or later, we’d get to her destination, and then she’d leave. I shut my eyes briefly, trying not to think about that moment, but it was stuck in my head, and it was bound to happen.
Now was the time to talk to her, and I dared not miss this opportunity.
Taking one last deep breath, I started to speak before I lost my nerve. “Renee…” I called out, and swiftly she raised her head, turning to face me.
A shocking wave of electricity passed through me as her beautiful brown eyes sparkled in the car’s dim lighting. As her gaze held mine unmoving, I blurted out incredulously, “Renee, aren’t you going to say something? I… No, you don’t have to say a thing… I… I…”
I was stammering foolishly like a lost kid, and I swore inwardly.
“Am I going to see you again? Ever?”
A hurried breath escaped my lips as I asked that question, and still holding her gaze, I waited for her to say something.
At first, it looked like she wasn’t going to answer. Like she was going to ignore me, but at last, her full lips upturned, and she dropped a bombshell, saying coldly, “You should know the answer to that, Robert.” She swallowed, and continued, “What we had was a… a fling, right? It was. As much as I enjoyed my time, I must face reality and go on with my life. Coupled with the fact that we’re parting due to a misunderstanding, I think we shouldn’t push this conversation any further.”
“Okay.” My voice sounded strong, and I tried to conceal my scattered emotions, but deep inside, I was breaking.
Her words pierced deep within me, like shards of glass cutting through every fiber of my skin, and it hurt so much.
“You’re right….” I agreed after a while, and I marveled at how helpless I was in this woman’s hands.
I rarely asked women if we’d meet again. It was usually the other way around, and once again, it dawned on me that I was letting down my guard for Renee. Something I never did, even to the mother of my… I stopped my thought halfway, blinking and coming back to reality.
“Robert…” She called out and damn! The way she said my name made me crave her so much.
Her voice was soft and gentle yet firm, giving no other information about how she felt. She sounded utterly detached from everything around her, but whenever she called my name… I lost it.
“I… I might have been too blunt. But I’m leaving soon, as you know. Well, you might even know when because you had me investigated.” She paused, and pain flashed through her gaze.
‘I had her investigated on?’ She made it sound like I’d done a horrific thing by prying into her life. Maybe I’d done a bad thing, but I just wanted to know about…
“Whatever we had was going to end irrespective of whether I leave now or not. Remember the first time you saw me at the beach and flirted with me….” She trailed off, a smile on her cheeks as she recalled those sweet memories, and my chest clenched.
“This was supposed to be a one-night stand, you know. No strings attached and all that. We might have surpassed our initial intentions, but this was how it was meant to be in the end.”
“Yes, yes, you’re right.” I chimed immediately after she finished and she nodded briefly, dragging her gaze away from me as she continued staring out the window.
It was clear she was done with the conversation, but I wasn’t. Just as I opened my lips to say something, the car lurched forward, and then it came to an abrupt halt.
My eyes widened as I realized that we must have reached her destination. I asked the driver, “What’s the matter?”
“We’re here, sir. We’ve gotten to the beach’s motel just like you requested and….”
His remaining words were lost as I raked my hands through my hair and cursed.
This was the end… Renee was leaving me.
My body stiffened as my heart sank, and I grew cold and empty.
Nothing was worth living for at that moment, and my mind wandered elsewhere, trying to comprehend what was about to happen.
My eyes began to burn for the first time, and I let them water a little, but I forced myself to stay strong. Why was I letting these emotions overcloud me now?
“Thank you… I appreciate that.” I heard Renee say softly to the driver, and then I felt her gaze on me.
I was looking out the window, staring at anywhere but her as I waited for her to say her final words.
She said nothing, her lips stretching slowly into a sad smile. This time, I could comprehend her facial expression. She looked sad, mirroring my demeanor. The stark realization that she would also miss me uplifted my weary mind a bit.
“Rob…” She began, stretching her hands to touch mine, but I tackled her before she could do so.
Not caring about the consequences or the fact that she might hate me for what I was about to do, I leaned in, grabbed her face, and dropped my lips on hers.
At first, she tried to struggle, muttering incorrigible words, but I didn’t let go as I allowed myself to bask in this last kiss.
Her hands soon rested lightly against my shoulders, and then suddenly, my fingers tangled themselves in the hair at her nape as she kissed back.
After kissing for a few seconds longer, we broke apart slowly, gazing deeply into each other’s eyes. Our breaths mingled together and my eyes searched hers for an explanation
Her emotions were all over the place with the way her face twitched, and I saw that there was still something hidden behind the surface of her eyes. Like there was something she wanted to say but wouldn’t.
“Rob…” She said softly, and that was all the cue I needed to leave her arms.
As I broke apart from her, my hands still clutching her cheeks, I gazed into her eyes that were now closed, and I spoke in a husky voice, initiating the words I so much dreaded. “Goodbye, Renee…”
Her eyes opened briefly, and she gasped but said nothing.
Pulling her hands from underneath mine, she heaved a huge sigh and then turned, touching the car lock and twisting it open.
My eyes locked on her every movement and I watched as she opened the car, and as she stepped out, she turned to look at me and said calmly, “Take care, Robert.”
Her voice was the only thing ringing in my ears as she disappeared from my sight, gently shutting the car door and leaving me staring outside the front passenger window.
I watched her retreating steps, and for a while, I felt numb, having no idea what to do.
“Should I drive to the hotel, Sir?” My driver asked.
Gritting my jaw irritatedly at the brief interruption, I sighed, knowing he wasn’t at fault for my sour mood. Besides, he’d asked a simple question.
I was tempted to tell him to drive me to the nearest bar so I could drown myself in alcohol and maybe pick a woman who’d help me forget about Renee, but I knew the notion was stupid.
As brief as this whirlwind romance had been, one thing I was sure of was no one could ever replace Renee in my heart.
Giving the driver consent to drive me back to the hotel, I let my head fall to my car seat. As the vehicle began to move slowly, I wondered if I could ever feel this same way again.
Well, the chance of that happening was one percent over hundred, and raking my hands through my hair, I let my thoughts overwhelm me.