Chapter 19 Emma
Emma
The next morning, I woke to find a note on the pillow beside me in Gavin’s untidy scrawl.
Had to go. Press conference this morning. Last night was amazing.
— G
It read more like a memo than a love note, but I still clutched it to my chest and rolled over, thinking again of the night before. I’d been unsure at first what exactly he was asking for, but the second we entered my bedroom and his rough voice was commanding me, it was like the whole world melted away and I was all his to mold and shape and please.
And God, had he pleased me.
A little thrill shot down my spine and I shifted in bed, slightly sore, but happier than I’d been in a long time.
Maybe when his conference was over, he’d come back and we could continue where we left off.
Gavin had said he wanted more, but then, so did I. But the thought of telling him what I needed scared the ever-loving crap out of me. How would he react?
I racked my brain, trying to think of a way to tell him of the affections I craved.
Cuddling on the couch? Yes, please.
Soft, stolen kisses against my lips and neck? Always.
More quiet moments with him at home? Anytime.
But I couldn’t wrap my head around how I’d approach the topic without sounding like a needy girlfriend.
If there was one thing I knew about Gavin, it was that he needed control. He wouldn’t respond to commands in the same way I did, with the obedience and acceptance of a loving partner. This man was broken. He didn’t know love. Not in the way that I did, with two loving parents and an easy upbringing. He had never witnessed a healthy, loving adult relationship, and he didn’t know how to be in one.
The only way for this to work—for my longings to get through to him—was to show him. I had to show him. By example. By brushing soft kisses against his knuckles when we parted, pressing my mouth to his neck while we made love. And I would have to do the scariest thing of all . . . I needed to be the first to say those three little words that terrified me.
I had no idea how he would react, but it was time. Because I did love Gavin, with every ounce of my soul.
Nerves suddenly dancing in my belly at the thought, I ran a hand through my tangled hair and swung my legs over the side of the bed. Rolling to my feet, I grabbed a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt, and threw them on before heading downstairs to the kitchen. After making myself a quick cup of tea, I grabbed a bagel and sat at the rickety kitchen table to plan my day.
It was better to keep my hands and my mind occupied. Otherwise, this new, bright relationship with Gavin just might swallow me whole.
The house still needed a ton of work. The moldings needed to be sanded and the kitchen needed to be painted. It wasn’t a day in bed with the world’s best lover, but fixing up my home was still something that would give me immense satisfaction once the job was done. I made myself a little shopping list and stuffed it in my pocket before finishing off my tea and hopping to my feet.Property © NôvelDrama.Org.
Grabbing my purse from where I’d left it on my sofa, I slung it over my shoulder and opened the front door as I took a deep breath of the cool morning air.
At least, that’s what I’d intended to do. Instead, I breathed in something rank and unsettling.
Confused, I moved to take my first step, nearly tripping over a mound of wadded-up newspaper on my doormat. It was stained a deep crimson that seemed somehow menacing.
With my heart hammering in my chest, I crouched down and gingerly opened the paper only to slap my hand over my mouth in horror. My fingers trembled as I dared another look. The coppery smell of blood was stronger now, and I held my breath as I stared at the gory flesh that had been wrapped inside. I didn’t know quite what I was looking it, but the viscous liquid had soaked into the paper beneath.
My knees quaking, I took a step back and slammed the door. Then, with trembling fingers, I locked it for good measure.
This was no accident. This was a message for me. A message of fury and hatred and ugliness.
Whoever had done this had been here, on my doorstep, in the last few hours. Gavin would never have left if he’d seen the carnage on his way out. That fact alone left me feeling exposed, violated, and the bagel I’d eaten felt like a ball of lead as my stomach pitched.
I wrapped my arms around my waist, trying to settle myself, but if there was one thing I knew, it was that I couldn’t be alone.
Not right now.
I pulled my phone from the back pocket of my jeans and dialed the first number in my contact list. The person I knew would protect me no matter what.
“Hello?”