Chapter 24: I Have No Urge To Cry
Arianna rubbed her neck with her hand, resisting the impulse to look in a mirror. She could feel the marks of her grandpa’s fingers around her neck.
She walked along the corridor and went to the top floor of the building without any emotion. Though the building was relatively new, its style was old. There were only four floors, each with a different floor plan that only the staff knew.
The rain began to pour and made a slight buzzing noise on the roof. A light layer of fog surrounded the distant mountains. It looked like a painting.
The top floor was lined with comfortable chairs by large windows. Arianna sat down, leaning heavily into the chair, and lit a cigarette. She took a deep puff and closed her eyes. Old memories came like a flood into her head, worsening her emotion.
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When she was a child, she hated the rain because her clothes would always get wet, and her shoes would be ruined by mud. But her grandfather loved rainy days. He taught her many sayings related to rain and taught her to admire famous paintings about rain.
He always bought beautiful raincoats, rain boots, and umbrellas for her. In order to be able to use these gifts, Arianna had to embrace the rain, eventually causing her to love the rain too.
When her cigarette was nearly finished, she quickly found that there was no good location for her to put it out. Everything was too clean. She had to use the metal railing to put it out and throw the butt into the trash can.
As Arianna reached into her purse for another cigarette, a gentle male voice came from behind, “Smoking is harmful to your health.”
Arianna turned around to see Dr. Lynch in a white lab coat, standing a few meters away from her. She smiled apologetically and tossed the cigarette back into its package.
“There’s no non-smoking sign here.” She said defensively.
“Yes, you can smoke here, and you do it well. But it’s still better not to smoke.” Dr. Lynch’s voice sounded like he was disciplining a child.
“How is my grandfather?” She ignored his words.
“He is quiet, just as he is most of the time.”
“Is he only loud when I come? He hates me. Even in his subconscious mind, I am dead to him.” Sadness filled her voice.
“How can you think like this? You know he is mentally ill. He rejects everything he does not know.”
Arianna gazed at the misty, distant hills and touched her forehead. There was a shallow scar that was covered by her hair. When her grandfather recovered from unconsciousness, she threw herself into his arms in tears three years ago. But to her surprise, he grabbed the nearest bottle and hit her on the forehead, leaving her with a scar.
“If you need to cry, you should. I can pretend like I haven’t seen it. I can leave you alone, or you may cry on my shoulder if you like. But it’s not good for your health to withhold your emotions.”This content belongs to Nô/velDra/ma.Org .
Arianna looked him straight in the eyes and said, “No, thank you. I have no urge to cry.”
“Something must be wrong with your lacrimal gland.”
“Probably not. When I watch funny movies, I often laugh to the point of tears.” Arianna mentioned casually.
She smiled at Dr. Lynch, “Is it possible for my grandfather to recover?”
“I’m not entirely sure. But we are trying our best. You have to believe that miracles do happen in this world.”
They stood in silence for a long time. Arianna finally formulated her next question, “Dr. Lynch, I need you, to be honest. You are an expert in psychiatry. You must see many family cases.”
Before continuing, she took a breath, “Is mental illness related to genetics? Did I ever tell you that my uncle and mother both committed suicide? My uncle died before twenty, and my mom before fifty.”
“As for my grandfather, I always thought he was the strongest out of all of us. I often think of what will happen in my future. Will I end up like my mother or my grandfather?”
“You are the toughest woman I have ever seen. We don’t welcome your kind in this place.” He said light-heartedly.
Arianna smiled slightly and said, “But I like it here very much. The scenery is beautiful, and the staff is great. If I reserve one seat in advance, would you receive me if something happened to me one day?”
Dr. Lynch laughed, “If you really like it here, I need an assistant. I’m just worried you deserve better than this. Give me your hand, and I will tell you your fortune.”
She raised an eyebrow, “I thought scientists were not superstitious.” Arianna still gave him her hand.
“Who said that? Newton and Darwin believed in God later in their lives.” Dr. Lynch looked at her palm and said, “Please don’t think too much about your future. Your lifeline is very long. ”
Grinning, he continued, “You will live up to eighty years old. And your palm lines are smooth and clear, which says your life will be smooth in the future. Don’t move. Let me take another look. You will have two children, a boy, and a girl.”
“Can you tell me how many husbands I will have?” Arianna joked to ease the heaviness inside her heart.
“Ah, how many do you want?” Dr. Lynch was amused.
Arianna felt her mood lighten, and she stood up. She shook Dr. Lynch’s hand and bowed her head, “Thank you for today, Dr. Lynch.”
“Don’t worry. Everything always has its way of working out in the end.”
She shrugged her shoulders and smiled, “I need to head down to the finance office. I haven’t received any bills for a long time.”
Dr. Lynch tilted his head in confusion,” An organization recently donated large sums of research funding to our institute and promptly asked to cover any medical expenses for several patients with certain conditions. That included Mr. Sanchez. Did no one tell you this?”