Chapter 94: His Fear
I was shocked when they called me that. Mama? They really called me that, right? And I freaking softened after that.
I looked at Desmond, expecting that he heard what they whispered at me but his attention was on our daughter which he bestowed on her nannies. Saoirse was taken care of by the newly hired two nannies which Desmond himself picked. Since we needed to have a conversation, it would have been better if our daughter had not been present here.
“As you know, Hazel is not present here, Seraphina,” Desmond began when the three of us were left here in the dining hall. I nodded as a response. “I already took custody from Hazel two years ago since she had been defying me so many times.” He glared at Harvey.
I shivered since he did not change the way he conversed with his people. But it seemed like he acted differently since Hazel was involved.
“I see.” I already knew that… Mother told me what was happening in Desmond’s pack. She made sure that I would not remain clueless until such time I was ready to come here.
What Desmond and I had not talked about was how long I was going to stay here in his pack since I was not his pack member. It was something I needed to discourse with him.
“Alpha… Please do not be so cruel towards my sister. Please give her at least three days to have my nephew and niece in our mansion. You have been allowed to see them for only half a day. That is a bit cruel,” Harvey pleaded. “I beg you.” Then he turned to me. “My lady, please. You have experienced Alpha Desmond’s cruelty. I am certain you will understand my sister’s point of view. It is hard that she cannot keep her sanity without having her twins…”
My eyes widened when Harvey knelt before me and even held my hand, begging. Desmond growled in annoyance and was about to shout when I halted him by summoning my hand.
“Desmond, my mother told me that you have changed for the better.” Desmond flinched upon the mere mention of my mother. “I am still uncertain if She is telling the truth but it looks like I must doubt what my mother said then.”
Desmond opened his mouth to defend himself. “I am punishing Hazel, Seraphina. As much as I want to agree with Harvey’s demand, I can’t. If only you knew that Hazel almost poisoned me and said that she wanted Hezekiah to be the next Alpha, you would do the same thing that I did.”
“Is that true?” I looked at Harvey with shock, and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Most importantly, why did my mother not tell me about this information? Desmond was almost poisoned?!
How dare…
Harvey looked guilty afterward and bowed his head before me. “T-That is her desperation to make sure that Hezekiah shall be the next Alpha but I made Hazel realize that is impossible. She is already changing, Lady Seraphina. Believe me. She has been behaving not to displease Alpha Desmond again. You may see her if you want to.”
“You do not need to see her, Seraphina. She hasn’t changed,” Desmond insisted, sounding annoyed at Harvey.
I exchanged glances between them. It wouldn’t hurt a fly if I try to see Hazel again, right? I already moved on from the past and already forgave Desmond for what he did. My mental health had been restored and I was able to learn to forgive everything.
“I will see her tomorrow.” I smiled at Harvey, nodding.
“But Seraphina-”
“To see is to believe, Desmond. Allow me to make an assessment. I shall tell you my opinion after this.” I urged Harvey to stand up when he was still kneeling on the floor. I turned to Desmond. “I hope whatever happens tomorrow, you shall be fine with the result.”
I knew that this matter should be between Hazel and Desmond since we were talking about the twins but as a mother of Sander and Saoirse, I understood what she was feeling if her pups were being forcibly taken by their father. But I was not justifying that what Hazel did to Desmond was right, either.
Hazel had just done that in desperation to be with her twins, that was for certain.
I was expecting that Desmond would argue with me but he backed down and agreed to my suggestion. “Alright…”
That was quick, I thought.
Harvey thanked me after that. I could tell how he was worried for his sister. I could see how much he loved her even though Hazel sounded like she was becoming a lunatic.
Desmond and I were the ones who were left alone here in the dining hall after Harvey decided to leave.
“I want to discuss how long I am going to stay here, Desmond.” It had been four days since I was here. I was even settled in the north hall just like two years ago.
“Is there something wrong with living here?” Desmond asked. His gaze was focusing on me which made my heart skip a beat again. He looked like he was panicking. “Did I… Did I displease you or did my pack members displease you?”
I did not know why he looked frightened of the idea that I would be mad every single time he knew that I was displeased.
“I-I will make it right! J-Just tell me!” Desmond looked like he wanted to kneel before me. He looked like he wanted to do anything for me so I wouldn’t get mad or be displeased anymore.
Gulping, I took a sigh. “Neither, Desmond,” I said softly. Somehow, he looked adorable. “I am not your pack member so I shall go back to the villa house with Saoirse. Sander can stay here and we can work on-”
“Please don’t leave me again!”
My stomach somersaulted when Desmond knelt before me and hugged my waist, pleading. I was shocked at his action, especially his eyes that expressed that he looked frightened right now and he was on the verge of crying.
“Desmond… W-What are you doing?” I asked, didn’t know what to do as I felt jolts of sensations crawling under my skin since his touch was penetrating my waist.
He started shedding tears. “Don’t leave me again for the third time… I beg you… I still love you, Seraphina… I still do… I almost died when you left me for the second time. Please don’t do it again. I am going to do anything not to displease you again… Anything…” He bit his lower lip, begging you. He even took my hand and brought it to my lips which sent shivers down my spine. “Please… Don’t leave me again…”
My wolf was also shocked when Desmond wailed in tears. He buried his face in my stomach. The way he cried… It felt like he had been carrying so much burden on his plate.
The vulnerable Desmond was here… He was showing me his vulnerable side because he still trusted me.
“I will do anything. Please don’t leave me… I don’t want you to leave me again for the third time, Seraphina.” My wolf and I felt heartbroken seeing how devastated Desmond was. He looked miserable.
All I thought was he was fine during those years but it looked like… The part where I always left along with our pups was traumatizing him.
“Desmond, I will be at the villa house and-”
He vigorously shook his head. “Then Luna Queen Rachelle will show herself again? And she will say I did something again to make you leave? I am still earning your trust before…” He cried and held both of my hands. “I changed, Seraphina. I am no longer the Desmond you knew who was not being considerate with you. I change for the better.” That surprised me when Mother said the same thing that Desmond changed for the better. “What else do you want me to change for you to stay here? I do not want you to leave… I am going to lose my sanity if you leave again…”
I looked at him intently as I felt my eyes getting misty for some reason. I held his face which made him flinch.
“You have suffered a lot in my mother’s hands. Right?” Desmond flinched at my question.
Rachelle said that Mother punished Desmond. She said that it was a way that would certainly hunt him. I should ask Mother what She had done to him and what She showed to him.
That was why the look of fear in Desmond’s eyes was palpable. When I found out about this and saw the result of it-how Desmond behaved right now, Mother’s punishment worked.
I felt bad for Desmond. No matter what happened he was still my mate after all.
“You are not going to leave me again, right?” I did not answer his question. I believed he was refusing to discuss what happened during those two years I was not here. “Please? I promise that I will not displease you again… I promise to myself that once you have arrived here, I am not going to do anything that is against your will.”
His devastated look made me want to hug him. Looking at him that he was acting like this, Desmond was not the same Desmond I knew.
He had changed…
Desmond panicked when he did not receive an answer from me. “D-Did I make you uncomfortable with my words? I… I…” His breath was shaking. “I am sorry. I should have not said… that… P-Please don’t be mad at me!” he pleaded.
Desmond looked like he would really do anything so I wouldn’t get mad at him.
What must I do about this bizarre atmosphere? How must I tell Desmond that I was not going to leave him again? And I was here to work things with him for the sake of our pups.
With his emotions blinding him, it was hard to negotiate right now. But we should see if I could say things properly and make him listen.Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!
Having his face near me made my heart go wild. I lifted my hand and gently wiped the tears that stained his cheeks. “I am not going to leave you again, cinnamon.” I drew his face closer. My wolf was jumping in joy when I called him back on my endearment to him.
Desmond inhaled sharply, having his eyes widened. He looked more adorable knowing that I caught him off guard.
“You must have been traumatized from my mother’s punishment, that is why you are behaving like this.” His eyes formed tears as he looked away, nodding. “I am actually returning here to try to work things with you again. You know… Work on the mate bond we have.”
I couldn’t just let my mother cut our mate bond. I still wanted Desmond to be my mate. I studied how to heal from my past but it did not mean that I was forgetting how I was once in love with him.
He was still my cinnamon.
“Did you… really mean that?” His voice croaked. I could tell that he had doubts. “You are not going to make me fall hard for you then you are going to leave me again?”
Ah… My poor cinnamon…
I placed my forehead on him, closing my eyes while I was caressing his cheek. “I am not going to leave you again. What I am saying earlier is that I am not your pack member so I suggest that I shall stay in-”
“No! No! No!” Desmond panicked and hugged me. “I don’t want it. I don’t want you to leave me…” He shook his head. His fear did not wash away as his body shook.
“I am not going to leave, Desmond. I will be staying…” I felt his hug tighten. It was obvious that he did not like the idea that I had to separate myself from him.
“Don’t, please…” He distanced his face so he could look at me. His eyes were getting misty right now. I hate seeing him being like this. “Please stay… I don’t want you to leave again, Seraphina…”
He kept repeating his words. It seemed like he had already lost his mind. The fear in his eyes did not falter. It felt like he couldn’t keep his sanity right now because of the fear that I was going to leave again.
What had I done to this man? Was leaving him for the second time around the right thing to do after all?
I snapped him back by grabbing his face, almost slapping him. “I will stay, Desmond. I will stay.” I was only suggesting that I was going to stay in the villa house but I did not really wish to leave. I wanted to be with Desmond and wanted to start anew with him.
His face brightened up. “Really?” His voice croaked. I nodded which made him smile and cry. “Thank the Moon Goddess!”
It took me a long moment before Desmond calmed down. I told him that he should take his rest, which he agreed to. We decided to part ways when we reached upstairs while he remained silent. I watched him going to the east hall before I went to the north hall.
As soon as I arrived there, I saw Mother’s spirit form sitting on my bed. Her silver hair was floating in the air while She locked her gaze on me.
“You wish to see me, Sicilia?”