CHAPTER 92
Bryan’s POV
I don’t know what the hell happened to me but I knew it was a nightmare. It was one of those nightmares that are scary and hard to remember after waking up with sweats all over.
Those were the type of nightmares I used to have during Helena’s first few months of death. I always wake up without a single memory of how the nightmare went.
But the feeling was horrible. I always feel a deep shit of anger and pain and fright in me and I usually spend the day trying so hard to recall what happened.
After a while, I got rid of it but when it came back, it wasn’t the usual wake-up-to-forget nightmare. I always remembered them but I was always frightened.
Her death did not only leave a scar in my heart, but the nightmares also did too, alongside regrets that I would have done something better and if only I had done something better, maybe she wouldn’t have died.
I saw Celine beside me on the bed and that intensified my rage. I vowed to Helena not to have anything to do with a woman ever again and there I was spending the night with another woman.
I didn’t realize Celine and I had gone past that phase until she ran out and I remembered that I slept with her and I also asked her to spend the night in my room.
She must be damn mad at me by now. And I hope to talk to her when I get home.
But I am not going home now, I need to see dad before going home. He called me an hour ago to inform me that he is back in New York with my mother. They are in the villa.
It’s been a while since we last saw each other and I really need to talk to him about what is happening. First; about Jason’s safety, then about Eric, Emily and Paxton, and Celine.
I am sure now that he is here, Jason’s safety is guaranteed and that is because he is going to get rid of Paxton but I need to tell him how bad and manipulative Eric is.
Eric is my cousin but he isn’t what he looks like to Father. I also need to let him know that Emily and Paxton are working together. This is something I haven’t told Celine too. I haven’t told her that Paxton works with Emily. I should let her inow so she can be careful with him, even though I know she is a little convinced he is a bad man and I am sure they haven’t seen each other since the last time he came into the mansion and left with a bleeding arm.
I will talk to dad about what I feel for Celine. About this ambivalent feeling. And I want to know what he thinks.
A few days ago, I was more than convinced that Helena had finally forgiven me for my mistakes because she was smiling at me in the dreams but after the nightmare this morning, I am not sure of what it is again.
I can’t even remember if she was smiling or crying or shouting at me. But I know if she was smiling, I wouldn’t have categorized that as a nightmare because my nightmares usually come with fright and not smiles.
The car drives into the villa as I look out of the window, reminiscing on my childhood days here. Sometimes, Mother and I stay here while father travels. Other times, we are in the main house, the mansion where I was born.
Growing up in a family like this wasn’t easy. I started training when I was still little and I grew up in the same training ground. I carried out my first assignment when I was just 15 years old and the adventurous experience made me love what we do.
The driver opens the door for me and I step out, sighing loudly.
I don’t want to think about my childhood. I don’t want to think about all the bad things I have done. Thinking about it brings back memories of Helena. And I am more than ready now to let go of everything.
Helena is gone. But that doesn’t mean she is insignificant in my life. I still love her but there is nothing, absolutely nothing I can do to bring back the dead or turn back the hands of the clock to correct my misdeed.
Helena is an understanding woman and the only thing she asked me before she died was to stop myself from taking over the business from my father which I have done.
I will have nothing to do with the Mafia business and that should be enough. I want to be happy again. I want to be a happy father again. I want to be able to look at Jason without any guilt.
I want a quiet life. And I want to experience love again.
“Bryan?” Dad’s eyes almost pop out of his eye socket when he sees me immediately the butler opens the front door for me to enter.
My middle-aged father seems older in just a few years of seeing each other, unlike the last time we saw each other. The resemblance between us is striking and I wonder how happy he would be when he sees Jason.
I got my striking eyes from him and Jason got his from me.
He opens his arms as I approach and we embrace tightly with a smile teasing his lips.
It’s been so long. Mother has always been in and out of New York. But Father has been gone for over a year.
“How was your flight?” I ask him when we disengage from the hug.
He raises his brows. “Your mother is jet-lagged.”
He chuckles and sits back on the dining chair and I laugh before sitting on the chair beside him.
“Dinner?” I ask.
“We had an early dinner.” He replies and we fall silent. I notice he is watching me and I clear my throat. I don’t even know how to start or where to ask. I know he has been to several countries and I don’t know which particular one he was before he came here.
“So, how is Jason? I heard his name is Jason?” He says, more like a question.
I nod my head with a smile. “He is fine. His name is Jason. Celine named him that.”
“Oh, she did? I thought you did?”
Dad knew how much I wanted to name my child Jason. Helena and I were expecting a second child before her death and the scan revealed that the baby was going to be a boy. We planned to name him Jason and I really do not know how Celine got to know that and how she ended up naming her son Jason too.
Maybe it is a coincidence and maybe she saw the name somewhere around the books I used to write on when Helena died.
I used to keep a diary then but I stopped when it wasn’t reducing my guilt.
“So how is she?” He asks again softly, staring at me to see if I am willing to talk about her.
“She is fine…” I pause, debating on whether to go on and tell him what happened or what has been happening between us.
“Did you take her back?” He questions again and I shake my head in a hurry.
“Why?” I let out a sigh. This is harder than I expected. I am finding it so difficult to admit that I feel something for her. It feels strange that I do.
I haven’t been myself since I left home this morning. I made her cry and it saddens me. I made a promise to myself not to let that happen again but it did anyway.
I don’t even know how to justify my actions and explain things to her when I get back home.
“How is the office?” He changes the topic, after noticing my hesitation in talking about Celine. I know mother must have told him all about what she saw and heard when she visited.
He is just asking me these questions out of curiosity. Mother had satisfied a percentage of his curiosity and he wanted me to satisfy the rest.
I thought I was ready to talk but now I know I am not.
“The company is fine”, I nod with a proud smile.
“I saw everything in the news. The new deals, the contract, the company’s unbelievable growth over two years and I am impressed”, he praises me with a pat on the back. I nod intermittently with a light smile on my face.
Silence falls between us again and I decide to just talk to him freely like I used to do in the past, even though I never confessed to him that the marriage between Celine and I was fake.
“Father?” I call him, thinking of where to start.
“Yes”, he answers and I lean back, darting my eyes back to him so I can see his reaction when I let the cat out of the bag.
He seems ready.
“The sex between Celine and I which brought about Jason was a mistake…”
“I know”, he nods, cutting me short.
“You knew all along?” I am not surprised. Mother must have figured it out or Celine must have told her.
“Yes. I also know that the marriage was a fake one.”
“Wow!” I can’t hide my amazement. They also know that it is fake. For how long?Exclusive © content by N(ô)ve/l/Drama.Org.
“Well”, I swallow the lump in my throat, encouraging myself to go on. “We had sex again yesterday.”
I watch his face turn aghast and I close my eyes. I remember how sensuous it was, probably because of how long it has been since I had sex.
It was heavenly and something I would love to have again with her. The way she writhed beneath me and cried for me to take her is something I haven’t been able to get out of my head.
I am about to explain how it happened and the confusion I am presently faced with as well as what I did to her this morning when my phone rings and I put my hand into my pockets to bring it out.
A strange number flashes across the screen and my brows crease in confusion.
I see a missed call from Camilla and I wonder why she is calling. Instead of calling her back, I decide to pick up the strange call first.
I pick up the call. “Hello.”
“Celine is in our custody!” The deep gruff voice announces before it hangs up immediately.
I shoot to my feet instantly when the words register themselves in my head. Father jerks upright too when he sees the look on my face.
“What’s the matter?”
I snap my head to him, happy to have him around at this time when I need him the most.
“Celine has been kidnapped!” I Inform him and his jaws drop open.