Tired
Larissa’s POV
“She’s been here every single day this week. I can’t keep turning her away, especially since she still has a legal right to visit him.”
I turned away from Kaden, shutting my eyes tightly in annoyance. Amaya had been a thorn in everyone’s side with her relentless visits to the mansion and her demands to see her son. Every day Kaden turned her away, and on days where she proved adamant with the guards, Kaden had to go down there himself and throw her out. It always ended up in a sort of screaming match, and Amaya vowing to return the next day. It had been taking a toll on him, I could see it clearly. It was also taking a toll on me, it was taking a toll on the entire pack, Declan included.
Because of her, a sort of gloom had descended over the pack, and everyone moved around, silent and listless. And it hurt me. I hated the screaming, the drama, every single thing. And I hated how it was affecting each and every one of us. Especially Declan. He was still so young, but even he could sense the difference in energy of everyone around him. He heard the screaming too. That was inevitable. He had grown quiet, no longer as vibrant as he used to be. And if care wasn’t taken, this could turn to a permanent change.
I didn’t want Declan around any of this. And I most certainly did not want Amaya around Declan. “No,” I shook my head in response as I turned back to Kaden. “I don’t want her near him, Kaden. You keep referring to her as his mother, but she’s not. Biologically, yes she is. But otherwise…we both know the answer to that. She is a terrible influence to have around Declan.”
Kaden sighed deeply. “Look, babe, I know. I don’t want her close to him either, but it can’t be helped. If I keep turning her away, she will only decide to involve the law. And we still live around the humans. You know how that will end; very badly. Please try to understand.”Têxt belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, knowing he was right, but still unwilling to back down so easily. “I get what you mean. But, surely, you can figure out a way somehow. Please. If we let her see him now, she’ll start to think she can just pop in whenever she wants. She’ll be here every single day, and I don’t think anyone would like that. Isn’t there something you can do? Anything at all.”
I was desperate. The thought of Amaya being a frequent visitor here was unsettling. She had already done enough damage. It would only put everyone in a bad mood. And I really did not want Declan to get involved in any sort of legal battle.
Kaden began to pace around the room. I watched him slowly make his way to the window and look outside where Amaya was still standing and yelling. She had been there for about an hour now, and it didn’t seem like she was ready to quit anytime soon. This was just a display of the behaviour she had been exhibiting this entire week. We were all tired of it.
I don’t know how many moments Kaden stood there for, but when he turned back to me, he shook his head as though in regret. “Look at her, making a scene and disturbing the peace of the entire pack. I can’t let it continue, Issa. Imagine how uncomfortable everyone is feeling right now.”
I said nothing. He was right.
He moved closer and intertwined our fingers. “I know you’re worried about the negative impact she might have on Declan, but you don’t need to. I won’t let that happen. But before anything else, I need to let her see him. She has a right to see him, and as much as I hate the idea, there’s nothing I can do to stop her.”
I shut my eyes again, defeated. I couldn’t shake the feeling I had about Amaya. She abandoned Declan once. I don’t want him getting attached to her only for her to leave him again. And I wished Kaden would fight harder to keep her away, but his words made sense. So I gritted my teeth and sighed. “Fine.”
“Issa.”
“I said it’s fine, Kaden. Just…be careful with her.”
He nodded. “I promise. I’ll be there the whole time. Knowing her she might try to plant some ideas in his head, but I won’t let her. Okay?”
I nodded, and watched as he walked outside to let her in. I’d promised myself I wasn’t going to get involved at all, but I couldn’t help it. I walked out of my chambers and to the balcony where I had a clear view of the gates. A bitter feeling swirled in my chest as I watched Kaden order the guards to let Amaya through. She stormed up to him immediately. “Have you finally come to your senses?” I heard her say. “I told you I’m not leaving until I see him.”
I cut off my wolf hearing before Kaden could respond. They were standing far away enough. I would rather not listen to their conversation if I could help it. Seeing her near him was already making me uncomfortable. I stood at the balcony for a few more seconds before I finally walked back to my room, my heart heavy.
***
“But that’s only because it’s the only one she has, you see. We’ve all been talking about it down at the quarters, and it’s put everyone in a lighter mood. So I guess that’s a good thing.”
I was barely listening as Gwen told me the story of what was happening at the servant quarters. It seemed to be a funny story, but I’d been zoning in and out so much I’d missed the whole point of it. But I did not say that to her. I was much too tired. I honestly just wanted to be alone.
“And oh, we haven’t had a chance to talk about it probably, but I have a little update on the Gemini,” she laughed. “It’s a lot of pressure being in the middle of two brothers, that’s for sure. I feel really bad, but also quite awkward. One is my mate, I’m in love with the other one. I honestly don’t know what to do about it at this point. You know, I didn’t think it was possible, but I think I’m getting even more confused about my feelings. On one hand, I’m bound by the mate bond and attraction is inevitable. But I’ve also been spending time with the other brother and he is such a great person. I feel so torn and confused, Issa. What do you think about all of this? I don’t know what to make of any of this.”
Her words were sounding perfectly in my head, but I wasn’t listening enough to understand what she was saying nor give a response. I felt like I was floating in my own thoughts. A dull feeling I did not recognize was heavy and full in my chest. But I could not put a finger on exactly what it was.
“Larissa?” I heard Gwen call out. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
I shut my eyes tightly in a bid to calm myself and silence the storm in my mind, but still, thoughts of Amaya persisted. Just the thought of her name made me sick. It had been four days since Kaden ordered the guards to let her in. Four days since he led her to the nursery where she got to see Declan. She had stayed for two hours. Two long, painful hours for me. As soon as she left, Declan appeared in my room and I spent the rest of the day with him.
But the problem wasn’t with that day. Yes, I had been uncomfortable with the idea, but not to the point where it would cause me to lose sleep. The problem was that ever since that day, she had continued to come over, which made it four days in a row. Two hours turned to three, and soon she was spending a minimum of five hours here.
It was exactly as I’d predicted, her getting comfortable and settling in once again. I hated every second of it. And I hated that nothing was being done about it. Declan hadn’t come to see me since the first day, and although I tried not to show it, it worried me. I worried that he would no longer see me the way he used to; like a mother figure. I knew I wasn’t his biological mother, but I was so close to him that I might as well be. And the thought that he might become closer to Amaya shattered my heart into a thousand pieces. I had never been a jealous person, but I didn’t want to lose Declan, especially not to someone that would surely end up hurting him.
“Are you sure?” Gwen’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts again.
“I already said yes.” My voice was sharper now.
Gwen nodded and continued what she was doing. “So, you see? I feel like I’m stuck in between the both of them, Larissa. I feel like a terrible person, and I probably am, but what do I do? How do I fix it?”
I shut my eyes tightly, my fists clenching by my side. As Gwen slowly brushed through my hair, she continued to speak. And speak. And ask for my opinion on the things she was bothered about. My head was throbbing, my mind racing, the world spinning…I was beginning to feel hot and irritated.
“Should I come out and own up to the truth? But how do I do it wit–”
“Stop it!” I grabbed the hairbrush from her forcefully. “Just stop.”
Gwen looked a little surprised, and then she tried to take the brush back. “It’s okay. I’m here to help you, let me hel–”
“I said it’s fine. I can brush my own damn hair. And this isn’t about the stupid hairbrush, Gwen. I’m tired of hearing about your problems, okay?”
My chest was heaving. I had no idea where that outburst had come from. I was just so tired and irritated. I just wanted to be left alone.
Gwen stood behind me for a few moments, and I could see the hurt in her face. “Oh…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to annoy or bother you. I just wanted to lighten your mood with the stories. I just wanted to make you feel better.”
“Don’t. Just leave.”
She nodded and walked out of the room, leaving me with my thoughts once again. I did not have the time to dwell on what happened because thoughts of Amaya resurfaced immediately. I stood from my chair and began to pace around. I didn’t want her here, I didn’t want her in our home. Why did it seem like everything was falling apart?
I also hated the fact that Kaden was doing nothing about this. I knew he had the power to stop her if he really wanted to, so why was he being so soft on her? It was a genuine question, one I had not thought of, but it was starting to bother me. When Amaya wasn’t here, just the mention of her name set Kaden off to the extremes. He hated her with everything he had in him. Now she was finally here, he didn’t seem as bothered as I expected him to be.
The feeling in my chest rose again, but this time it was bitter. Angry. What if he was going soft on her for other reasons? I wondered. They were old lovers after all. And with all the time they were spending in the same place, his feelings towards her might be changing.
My heart clenched.
At first I didn’t mind the idea of Kaden and Amaya in the same room because I knew it would prevent her from poisoning Declan’s mind, but now I could not help but feel a little insecure.
“Shit,” I sighed into my hands. I hated the direction my thoughts were going in. I knew deep down that Kaden truly loved and cared for me. I knew he would never betray me like that. He would never hurt me like that.
I hated doubting him, and I knew I needed to let him know. It was better than sitting here and wondering. Perhaps if he knew how much this situation bothered me, he would find a way to put an end to it.
Sighing, I tied my hair up in a bun and put on my coat, then I made my way out of my chambers to go find him.