Chapter 91 Hopeful
-Zack-
I had imagined that if I were to ever write something it’d be a blast.
It would probably start with a sex scene, with a hot chick that I would have brought home after an awesome night out, partying as if the world was going to end, dancing and cheering like nothing else mattered.
It would have. If I was still 17 years old and had no aims, no dreams and just wanted to have fun.
Other days would be spent training, shooting at my targets from all angles, knowing that I would never miss. I was the protector of our division, of our leader. I was supposed to be the backbone, the partner, the guy who didn’t have to think about shit but was ready to act whenever and I was reliable.
But now, I stand looking down at a rejection email. The fifth one this week, thirtieth this month. There’s nothing exciting about this which in itself is a letdown. I thought getting a job would be easy, I thought getting a life would be easy. Except now I just sound like an old man.
Dominic would have given me a job if I asked but she’s helped me so much as it is, tutoring me with business, letting me use her books, supporting me mentally when I couldn’t go to anyone else, but at this point, I just feel like a burden.
We’re not a gang anymore either so my shooting skills are useless and no one really needed protecting. When Jordan and Anna came around asking for us to guard them almost, that was probably the only option I had left and even that I wasn’t happy about. At least this way I got to walk outside of their hotel for a few minutes each day, make sure they’re okay before heading home. I didn’t expect anything drastic to happen though and I’m not sure how involved I want to be for them either.
I sighed, deleting the email and getting up from my bed to go into the kitchen of Nick, Jason and I’s apartment. I wasn’t sure who was home and who was out since I had stayed in my room all day and now it was 4 pm and it felt like the whole house was empty. I guess that was the perfect opportunity for a drink.
I took out a shot glass and some vodka before sitting at the dining table. It suddenly felt uncomfortable though. Not just the fact that I was sat alone when I’m used to the room beaming with people but drinking as a whole. When I was younger, I wouldn’t have hesitated, never liked the taste but whoever drank for that? The buzz is what I loved about it.
But now, looking down at my glass that I had yet to fill, I almost didn’t want it anymore. Something repelled me, but thinking it was just the fact that I wasn’t used to it since it’s been 10 years, I screwed off the lid and was about to pour.
But my hand was stopped.
I looked up and Jason had been the one who had stopped me. “You know,” He begins, taking the bottle from me, setting it aside and sitting down at the table as well. “I was confident you had gone sober after your ten-year hiatus.”
I scoffed a little, covering my tired state with a grin, “You say that as if I was addicted!” I laughed but he didn’t join me in it.
“You were.” His tone doesn’t really change but it made my mouth twitch nonetheless, almost having my grin fall in surprise. He glanced my way, catching my reaction before leaning back on the chair and looking up. “We were all aware of it you know? How much you tried to distract yourself with alcohol when you were in pain. None of us was ignoring it, it’s just that none of us knew a better solution at the time.”
This time my grin shattered, I didn’t think anyone had noticed, didn’t think anyone had cared.
“But now, it’s not really the same thing,” He continues, standing up, grabbing the bottle before patting my shoulder motioning for me to stand as well so I did. We walked up to the sink where he then passed me the bottle. I looked at it confused, hesitantly taking it in my hands and waiting to hear what he wanted me to do with it. Except, when he said, “Empty it,” I suddenly froze.
I looked down at the sink, the bottle before looking back at Jason, I couldn’t- “You can do it, you’re stronger than this Zack, we all know you are. Besides, you don’t need to rely on drinks to get you by, you have us. So please, rely on us a bit more.
I looked down at the bottle again. This time a wave of motivation hit me. He was right. I had friends and people I could call my family, people I could trust. They… are here for me.
And so I emptied it. Watching the liquid go down the drain and possibly, gone from my life forever. It was a freeing feeling and once it was all gone, my shoulders felt lighter, I felt a lot happier.
This time I was about to turn to Jason with a real grin but when I did, I was engulfed in a hug that I wasn’t expecting but, it felt nice and warm. Yet, before I could hug him back he pulled back with a proud smile and told me to follow him into the living room this time. He let me walk in first so I opened the door but only to have my breath taken at the decorated room and the cheers of those there.
It seems I wasn’t home alone after all.
I turned back at Jason, disbelief and excitement on my face, not knowing why everyone was at our house but happy nonetheless and he mouthed, “We’re all here for you,” Which made my eyes tear up in happiness. I looked back at everyone realising that they were caring for me this whole time, they did notice, and they believed that I would be able to let go of my fears.
Nick then came around and put an arm around my shoulders before happily pulling me further into the room and the group. “We’re always looking out for you bro,” he whispers in my ear before saying out loud, “And as much as this was a reason for celebration as it is, I don’t think we can forget that today Zack will finally be joining us at 28!”
I laughed along with everyone else, being sat down in between, Nick and Jake as Dominic put a cake in front of me. It was such a cliche thing for them to do but, I needed this. Not a huge party with the whole house filled with people who wouldn’t give a shit but these people. This one room, this one group, this one cake, it was all I needed. All I’ll ever need.
“Man you made me give up alcohol on my birthday?”
“Zack!”Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!
“I’m kidding!”