Uncontrollable Tempration

“I’m not defending him. I’m a guy and if I were in his position, I most likely would have done the same thing.”

I gasped. “I thought you were better than him.” I said disappointedly.

“No Sophia, I’m not better than anyone. If I had the right to kiss a beautiful woman like you, I wouldn’t think twice about it. The same goes for our clients today because I saw them looking too. Only Adam has a reason to do so and he simply did it.”

“And what reason is that?” I asked, already annoyed at what he would say. The same thing everyone else says.

“You know the reason Sophia, I wouldn’t say it so you wouldn’t scream at me again.” He grinned.

I punched him on his arm and we both laughed. I can’t believe that he just said that.

“Well, no matter what you or everyone else says, I’m not subjecting myself to a jerk. He only wants to have sex with me and he can’t…”

“I won’t deny that, but I’m sure he wants more than that. I’ve known him since college. He has never fought this hard for a girl only to have sex with her.”

But he’ll still want to. And I know I would let him. Heck, I almost gave him my virginity today if not for Phoebe! I mentally thanked her for showing up.

“I just can’t. I need to forget about him.”

“Okay. I wouldn’t push you.” He winked at me.

________

Sophia Parker

I knocked firmly on the huge brown doors leading to ‘his’ office.

“I can do this.” I whispered to myself as I took deep breaths.

Yes, I am ashamed of what happened yesterday but I wouldn’t let it affect me OR repeat itself in any way today. I’m just going to pretend like it didn’t happen. And if he tries to do anything, I’ll run out!

After no response, I decided to just walk in.

I opened the door with one hand, his coffee and dairy in my other hand. I didn’t even bother to look at him or say hello but I knew he was there. My body was completely aware of his presence.

I carefully walked to the edge of his large brown desk, maintaining as much distance as possible, then I placed the cup as close to him as I could… which was still very far from him.

“Alice informed me that you scheduled a meeting with someone from AIRTEX today at 10am. It’s currently 9:45. Apart from that, your diary is empty. Is there anything you would like me to do for you today?”

After reading from his diary, I closed the book and looked at anything else but him, trying not to give away any emotions. But deep down I was trembling! I had just slapped this man yesterday! I don’t know if he’s angry with me or what he is going to do to me today.

“Yes.” He said with that deep and masculine voice he had and my body warmed up from head to toe.

I hope whatever he wants me to do is in good faith.

“I want you to look at ME Sophia. Stop avoiding my eyes.” He said in a commanding voice, which annoyed me.

“I’m not avoiding anything!” I said harshly.

“Then look at me.” He challenged.

I looked at him, and suddenly my anger disappeared. His eyes were glittering and they told me everything. The glint they had revealed sadness, and even though he was trying to hide it, his face showed it all. The dark, colourless eyes that mourned his despair stared right at me, like I was the reason for his pain, for his suffering.

I’ve never felt so guilty of hurting someone so badly like this…

“Why don’t you want to be my girlfriend Sophia?” He asked quietly.

What?!

My eyes flew wide open. I was completely shocked by his question! When did he ever asked me to be his girlfriend?! I didn’t get the memo!

I couldn’t tell if he was joking because the look he held was so genuine. He couldn’t be seriously asking me that, could he?

“Why don’t you approve of me?” He continued. “Sometimes, you look at me like I’m a repulsive creature and it hurts. Could it be my looks… or my attitude… or my remarks? Or anything else? Please just tell me. I’m willing to change so that you can like me.”

Wow! I couldn’t believe my ears.

“What does Sean have that I don’t? I mean… he’s a good guy but I’m not too bad myself, right? I’m sorry about that fight I had with him. I promise you that’s not the real me. Sean and I are really good friends, I was just so jealous of him. Seeing you with him makes me so mad. I sometimes wish I could be him, just to know what its like to have your attention. Even if it’s just for a day. ”

Oh my god. What is he saying?

“I really want to know what your love feels like. So please Sophia, tell me all I need to do to earn it and I promise I will do them all. I know that arrogance is not the way to get you and I’m sorry for every single time I’ve been arrogant towards you… Tell me what your ideal man is and-”

“Okay STOP! Please, Mr Wilson just stop talking!” I couldn’t take it anymore. “Do you realise what you’ve just said?!”

I’m astonished at the fact that he just disclosed all of that to me, but I found it more disturbing. He sounded like he was wounded and needed some sort of healing. That was something I never expected him to ever say, considering that he’s always so tough. Right now, he sounds like a wimp.

“Yes Sophia, everything I said is how I truly feel and I’m ready to compromise myself so you can love me. You can start by telling me what attracts you to the opposite sex. What are your likes and dislikes in a man?”

“Enough! Please, I’ve had enough of this. I do not wish to discuss that with you so just forget about it completely.” I waved him off.

Has this man gone completely insane?! Where has his masculine ego gone to?

I picked up some scattered files I noticed on his desk and decided to arrange them into their shelves.

I walked across the room, towards the shelves. He stood up and pursued me.

“Mr Wilson, please go back to your table.” I warned him without turning around. I could feel him standing behind me and I hated it.

“Why do you do this to me?” He complained.

“Do what?!” I faced him. “All I did was give you coffee and update you about your meeting. What else have I done?”

“You’re being hostile towards me now Sophia but I swear… If I touch you like yesterday-”

“DON’T! Don’t you dare bring that up!” I gave him a deadly look. He was not going to do that words thing that he usually does. Not this time.

“So are we just going to pretend like it never happened?”

“Yes! At least I am.”

“Well, I can’t.”

“In that case, I can’t keep working here anymore.” I dropped the files with a loud thud. “I am not comfortable with what happened yesterday and I’m scared that you’ll violate me again like you did. That was unacceptable! You mauled me and I didn’t have any other choice. Thank god Phoebe walked in.”

If she hadn’t, then we would have been telling a different story from now.

“Is that how you really feel… like I violated you?” He asked seriously.

“Yes. And because of that, I quit for the second time! You don’t know how embarrassed I was. I thought I could put everything behind me and come to work today without you hounding me but I guess not. This time, I’m leaving and I don’t care about my notice period. You can take me to court for all I care, but I can’t stand another second with you and your unprofessional attitude towards me!” I had to catch my breath when I was done ranting.

He looked at me wordlessly. The look on his face was worse than before, I may have just broken his heart. Although that sounded silly.

“Is that what you really want Sophia?”

“Yes.” I said without really thinking about it. I tried not to notice the unhappiness and disappointment written all over his face. He simply nodded.

“Okay.” He said strongly but with a lace of regret. “I’ll get all your resignation documents ready as soon as possible. Then you can finally be free of me. I’m sorry if I was ever a bother to you, and I’m sorry about yesterday. I thought we were on the same page but I guess not. It was never my intention to embarrass or violate you.”

He turned and finally left me alone. I went back to arranging files on the shelf, thinking about what the hell I just said.

I heard him call Paul through his intercom and tell him to process my documents and finalize them today. He had deliberately kept them on hold and used the notice period to keep me here longer, but now it seemed like he was ready to let me go.

Yes, I wanted to leave but I’m not sure if I never wanted to see him again. My words were harsher than I expected them to be and all of a sudden I feel very remorseful.

I finished with the files and walked out just as his 10am client from AIRTEX walked in. I went to my office and sat down on my chair. I looked around, suddenly realizing that this may be the last time this place belonged to me. Working here was a huge part of my life and I don’t know what it would be like without it. I am really going to miss this.

My phone buzzed and I smiled when I saw the caller ID was my mum.

“Hey mum.” I answered.All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.

“Great.” I lied.

“How are you darling?”

“How are things going with your job? You said you will be leaving soon but its been over a month now.”

“As a matter of fact, things just got finalized today.”

“Great! Because as you know, a while ago your father was discharged from the hospital and he’s at home now. He got worried when I told him about the situation with your job and he wants to see you. He’ll be more than happy if you come home.”

That sounded like a good idea. A good way to get away from all that’s been happening and just clear my head. Whenever I go back home to Virginia, I always find it relaxing.

“Oh mum, I would love to. I could seriously use a break right now.”

“A break from what? Is anything stressing you out?”

If only she knew!

“A bit, but its okay. Don’t worry so much. I’d love to come tomorrow if that’s possible but I don’t know when my documents are going to be processed. I’ll keep you in touch with what’s happening.”